


Be okay.

by capkiddred



Category: IT - Stephen King, IT 2017, IT Chapter 2
Genre: Adult Eddie Kaspbrak, Adult Losers Club (IT), Adult Richie Tozier, Angst, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Flashbacks, Happy endings don't exist, Hospitals, I'm Sorry, IT Chapter Two Spoilers, M/M, Movie: IT (2017), Movie: IT Chapter Two (2019), Post-IT (2017), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Teenage Losers Club (IT), Twitter told me to write this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-17 06:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21049637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capkiddred/pseuds/capkiddred
Summary: Richie was right.Eddie was going to be okay. They got him out of Neibolt and he was going to be okay...Right?





	Be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> This whole idea was inspired heavily by @castleuris on Twitter! Thanks for letting me write about it :)

** _❝I cry in the after life, I cry hard because I have died and you're alive. I try to escape afterlife, I try hard to get back inside your arms alive- And hey, you- Don't you think it's kind of cute that I died right inside your arms tonight?❞ ⏤⏤ Arms Tonite, Mother Mother_ **

If someone were to tell Eddie Kaspbrak that he'd die at the ripe age of forty, he would expect maybe a car accident, or accidentally choking to death- but never this. He would never think of an alien claw stabbing through his stomach, then flinging him off as if he was a bug. His body was numb, and he could barely speak without the iron taste of blood trickling out of his mouth. It was funny, actually. He gets one phone call and willingly throws his life away in New York to come running back to a group of people he didn't even remember- only then to die in a cavern attached to the grey water sewers of Derry. The amount of blood coming up his throat made him cough, and worried eyes looked up at his. "Ri..Richie." He muttered, hearing the clown threaten that he was the eater of worlds.  
"Hey, hey. Don't speak, alright? You're gonna be okay, Eds." Richie's voice was frantic, but hopeful. It made Eddie feel like he wasn't dying- until Richie pressed a bit harder on the hole in his stomach. "You're going to be alright. I promise, Eddie." It was a nice thought.  
"Ri-" He started coughing again, and Richie did that thing where he brings his hand up and gently caresses Eddie's cheek. It makes him remember all the times Richie had done that to comfort him. Moments when they were younger started to replay in the dying man's head. Suddenly, the world just started showing only Richie and Eddie. Only them. God damnit, why'd he have to be dying right now? Richie turned his head to watch the losers fight back. Granted, it sounded like they were just bullying Pennywise, but what did he know? He could just be hallucinating on his deathbed. "Richie." Finally.  
"What? What is it, Eds?" God, he was so stupid for calling him that.  
"I lo..I love you." It was quiet, and the screaming from the surviving losers was definitely overpowering- but Richie Tozier heard it, and his heart shattered. Eddie could tell that Richie was tearing up. Was he going to say it back? Eddie was begging to hear those words... Instead, Richie glanced over at the losers again, then back at him and said something else.  
"I'm going to go help them, Eddie. I'll be right back though. You'll be okay. I'll be back." With that, Richie got up and ran over to the others. Eddie heard something rip apart, and the pain in his stomach only grew worse. Eddie just wanted to shout and get Richie back here. He didn't want to die alone. Eddie wanted to survive and be able to go home. He wanted to break free from the life he has been trapped in for forty fucking years and be able to live with the person who he loves-  


-but happy endings don't exist.  
  
  
Things were fading from view, as if someone turned the contrast all the way down. He couldn't make out a lot of things anymore, but there was a darker area within his vision and he knew that it was the exit. The harsh realization hit him again. He's never going to be able to see the sky again. He'll never be able to feel rain hit his skin, or have the sun hit his face and panic about the UV rays.. He'll never be able to enjoy those cold nights inside watching movies and that stupid comedian on TV that turned out to be _his _Richie.. Tears faintly fell down his cheek, mixing with the blood still dripping from his lips.   
Happiness was never something Eddie truly had, and now he would never get it. The cave turned to black, and suddenly it was easier to breathe. Richie was right. Eddie was going to be okay.

** _❝Close my eyes and then cross my arms, put me in the dirt, let me dream with the stars. Throw me in a box with the oxygen off- you gave me the key then you locked every lock. When I can't breathe, I won't ask you to stop- when I can't breathe, don't call for a cop. I was naive and hopeful and lost, now I'm aware and trapped in my thoughts.❞ ⏤⏤ R.I.P. 2 My Youth, The Neighbourhood_ **

Richie watched as Pennywise's body cracked away in small chunks of black- and the losers sigh in relief with a small celebration of hugs. He couldn't believe it. The monster that tormented him for 27 fucking years was dead. The one that made him forget everything- including the love of his life was gone. Wait. Richie's breath hitched as he remembered Eddie. Eddie wasn't in the circle with them.. No, he was on the ground with a hole in his chest. "Eddie." He spoke quietly. He quickly whipped around and ran back towards Kaspbrak, who was in the same position when Richie walked away. "Hey-Hey man." He said, putting a smile on his face so Eddie could see that it was real. That they were free. "We got Pennywise, man." His smile remained but Eddie didn't react. "Eddie." Richie said, moving a hand up to his cheek like he usually did. There was still no reaction, and his face dropped.   
The losers stood behind Tozier now, watching the rest of this man's heart break. Richie's mind was running so fast- There were too many thoughts in his head as he tried to process what was happening. Eddie couldn't be dead. That isn't possible. His hand dragged down to Eddie's lips, then to his chin- It was gentle though. He couldn't be rough with Eddie.. He was fragile. Glasses were practically useless at this point, as the tears in his eyes were blinding him beyond repair, but he didn't care. The hand returned to his cheek and the first tear fell from his eyes. Behind him, he heard a sniffle as the cave around them started to rumble.  
"Richie." Beverly said first. The rumbling got louder.  
"He's gone." Bill chimed in.   
No- No he wasn't gone, and Richie was going to let them know. "He's alright- No, he's just hurt. We gotta get him outta here. He's hurt." He reminded them. The losers only stared at him with pain in their eyes. "Ben-- Bill.. He's okay. We gotta get him outta here, Bev." There was still a glimmer of hope left in his eyes. There was now cracking with the rumbles.   
"Richie.." Beverly started again. The curly haired male kept his head lowered, and paused. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to face the truth. Richie _promised _Eddie that he'd be okay. He can't break his promise.   
"What?" He looked up, the pain in his eyes making it harder for Beverly to speak.  
"Ho-Honey. He's dead." It was a brutal honesty that Richie didn't want. He couldn't reply to that- so Richie squeezed his eyes shut and turned back towards Eddie. Beverly knew Richie would stay and die with Eddie, but she couldn't let him do that. "We have to go, come on- come on, Richie."  
"We gotta go-" Bill then reached forward, grabbing Richie's shoulder. Ben joined him, tugging him away gently.

  
There was no way in hell they'd take him away from Eddie though.  


Richie pulled Eddie into a hug, wrapping his arms around him as if they were chains and caressing his head like it was the first time he'd seen him in years. The losers realized Richie wasn't going to go easily, and started to pull at him, yelling that they had to go. The crumbling got louder and he could hear the snaps of rocks and whatever was in the middle break apart. The losers were panicking and god, Richie just wanted to die here with Eddie. As their pulling got more desperate, and Richie felt himself slip away for a moment, he cried out. "We can still help him, guys! We can still help him!" They pulled harder and harder and Richie's hand slipped from Eddie's head. "Guys! We can still help him!" His voice screamed out, tears mixing with the dirt on his face and dripping down his chin. The crumbling got worse but Richie didn't care. Eddie was in front of him and he was being pulled away from the man he loved for so fucking long.   
Fighting back was probably the hardest part of it, because Richie Tozier was so willing to stay there with him while the others escaped. He had already lost Stanley. He wasn't going to lose Eddie too... So Richie fought. He squirmed and kicked and screamed and finally Bill's grip loosened. "**_Eddie!_**" He called, before shoving himself out of Ben's grip and rushing back towards the body. If they weren't leaving without Richie, then Eddie's coming with. He could feel them pulling at him again, but Richie just pulled Eddie up and held him for dear life.   
"Richie- what are you doing!? We have to leave him here!" Bill yelled, but Richie shook his head, choking on the tears running down his face.   
"I'm not leaving without him!" He cried back- definitely too weak to carry Eddie out by himself. But he'll do it. He'll sweat and bleed and cry to get Eddie's body out of this damned place. The crashes of debris got louder and louder, and Richie had Eddie. That's all that mattered.

** _❝Now don't lose your fight, kid, It only takes a little push to pull on through, with so much left to do, you'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you. Grit your teeth, pull your hair, paint the walls black and scream, "Fuck the world 'cause it's my life, I'm gonna take it back, " and never for a second blame yourself.❞ ⏤⏤ Missing You, All Time Low_ **

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if this caused pain. Anywhos, this is part one- follow me on Twitter @kaspbrakia :)


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